Destiny, God or the Universe Stepped In… and I Stepped OUT (of My Teaching Job)
Living in Hawaiʻi is a dream for many people. While living in Germany, it became one of my dreams as well, after meeting a Hawaiian man and learning all the things he told me about the amazing place that is his homeland.
With his connections, my vision board, and lots of praying, it wasn’t long before I was in Hawaiʻi.
…and teaching at a school in one of the most native Hawaiian communities on the islands. I worked up the hill from where my dear friend and mentor had lived as a boy. This made me very honored and proud.
At first I was very happy. I danced hula, I studied Hawaiian, I tasted new foods. I bought a Jeep — the vehicle I imagined would go well on the island — in the height of the pandemic.
The universe was working in my favor.
Hawaiʻi is beautiful, of course. I lived a 2-minute walk from several very scenic, mostly-unpopulated beaches.
Better yet, I had become part of a community, was learning about an ancient culture, made new friends, and enjoyed gorgeous sunsets every evening. So many things that I’d put on my vision board were now a reality.
I didn’t just wear leis… I learned how to make them.
Over a year in, however, things began to change.
My progress and happiness were waning. I was getting depressed, doing basically the same thing every day going to work, coming home hot and tired, and not living to my full potential. Was this all there was?
Yes, I was in a famously-gorgeous place, but I had no one to share it with.
On a practical level, the money I earned wasn’t enough to be sustainable for the long term. Although I was being paid more than any teaching position in the past, rent was also the highest I’ve ever paid — and I didn’t live in a luxury neighborhood by any means. Housing made up 72% of my monthly expenses. (Finding a roommate or moving to a shoddier place weren’t options for me.) I had to work an extra job — 15 to 20 hours more per week — just to alleviate the stress of paying my bills. And I was still worried.
Other things troubled my mind and heart.
I was alone, sometimes lonely. Hawaiian people are very family-oriented, and my family was far away.
I missed open spaces, wild places where you can walk and hike and take your dog, without fences and a swarming number of people.
I missed novelty and newness.
I missed the man.
And there were people problems.
As in every school I’ve ever worked at, there was conflict — not ever with students, mind you, but always with adults: administration, parents… and this time with fellow teachers.
Working in the high school made me feel like I was living my teens all over again (and I didn’t enjoy that age so much the first time). One younger colleague was continually trying to “school me,” and I’m too old for that.
Her behavior put a bad taste in my mouth and incidentally— not to give her too much credit — started my downward spiral.
Here I was yet again, faced with unnecessary drama, something I’d avoided a lot of when I lived overseas. The behaviors of my co-worker didn’t seem to go with the harmonious environment that surrounded us.
I felt stuck. And it wasn’t long before that feeling came over me that I should move on… once again.
This wasn’t island fever, but the same old sinking sensations that had shadowed me throughout my adult life: being easily bored, feeling unsettled in an explicable way, not feeling at home…wanderlust.
Called a gypsy — more and more in recent years — I realized that’s who I had become.
I wanted to be able to travel and to see people I love, without having to take vacation days or ask for time off. I wanted adventures like I used to create for myself when I lived on the mainland or in Europe: road trips, crossing borders, exploring new places, and learning new languages.
Working at the Irish pub I’d enjoyed so much before COVID was also one of the things I greatly missed: the interaction, the laughter, speaking in different languages. Working every Friday and Saturday night, it was like throwing a big party with lots of friends (without the hangover) all while earning big tips.
And though he was with me in spirit, the person that made me the happiest was very far away — 7,455 miles to be exact.
There was no regret about having come to Hawaiʻi. I had been blessed to live in one of the most amazing places on the planet.
And I knew I couldn’t get my life in Germany back, because a person can only move forward.
But I also realized it was time to make big changes.
Months before, I’d come across a post about a writing course, which in my mind advertised the freedom I sought. Lots more money. And the ability to work from wherever I wanted.
I signed up for the course and from the very first lesson began changing my mindset. I set new goals for myself — personally, spiritually, physically and financially — started reading inspirational books, built a website, began writing, and even got a little work.
My entrepreneurial journey became part of the new adventure I had been seeking.
Now when it came time to renew my teaching contract, I was understandably torn. Between the obligation to the Hawaiian who had supported me, being “lucky you live in Hawaiʻi” (as he continually reminded me), the beauty around me, and people who wanted me to stay, I felt guilty and very stressed out. But I knew I couldn’t sustain my life in Hawaiʻi, working as a teacher.
After asking around, I received different offers to live in different places, and even applied for teaching jobs in other states and countries.
Then I asked myself, “What are you doing?” After all, I was starting a business and wanted to be a writer!
It was so new I had to remind myself and retrain my brain to start thinking differently.
Finally I had to let all the decision-making — and stress — go… it was then that the path ahead suddenly seemed clearer.
Six months after starting the course, I’m now gainfully unemployed, building my own legitimate business.
I’m writing a book and co-authoring another.
I’m developing ways to earn passive income.
I’ve had business and coaching meetings — not set up by bosses, but by myself.
I’ve made new business contacts and new friends.
I’ve met many people — mostly women — who are on the same path as me. But we’re all doing our own thing, in our own way, and being successful at it.
Best of all, I’m seeing the endless possibilities out there. And I’m living my dreams through writing.
Soon I will be moving to a quiet town in the Pacific Northwest, where I can once again work in a pub — a tavern in this case. I’ll set up my office, walk my dog in the woods, enjoy the peace, and hone my craft.
I’ll be close to family and nearer to friends. And I’ll have the freedom to write, to work at my own pace, to enjoy life, until it’s time for the next big move.
And I’ve warned those who have so kindly invited me: I may not be staying long, because of my wandering spirit.
If it wasn’t for the move to Hawaiʻi, the financial challenges I’ve faced, the drama, and all the troubles and sadness I’ve gone through, I would have never gotten to where I am now.
Whether it was fate, God, the universe, or ancient Hawaiian spirits guiding me to the next phase in life, I’m on my way.
. . .
Thinking about ditching your teaching job, or 9 to 5?
Check out how to Write Your Way to Freedom with entrepreneurial coach Sarah Turner, a dynamic young woman who has changed her life and the lives of many of her students, including me.
Sarah helped me make the move to follow a lifelong dream: to become the writer I’ve always wanted to be, with the added bonus of living a life of freedom! If you’re interested in starting your own business, click here.
Please note: I receive a small commission if you sign up. Tell Sarah Kristina sent you.
